A page from the known yet destined to be unknown.

Continuing with the monologues series here is the next chapter.
In a dark corner of some coffee shop where retro music is being played in the sound system, no not Bryan Adams but Cheri Cheri Lady by Modern Talking.
@KueKaMendhak* Scribbling in his notepad some Integral Calculus problem

Newton did Integration first then Differentiation, now how is that possible. Mere thought of this gives me acidity, the feeling of being Mathematically Inadequate, that and the coffee that I sipped sometime back. I always use this coffee shop out of all the places in the world to study because it gives me the sounds of world which help me to numb my brain and study (contrary to my parents belief noise helps in concentrating). Every once in a while it also gives me those funny fights in between couples which spice up my life. The only form of entertainment I can afford this year. This being year of my Twelfth Boards. Let's not add onto my acidity. I am just an average bloke of a small town in average India where my parents like every other parents want me to give IIT-JEE, AIEEE and get into an NIT at least(When I see their 'High Hopes' I want to know what they are smoking and wish I could smoke some of that). As for me I have no career options, no wants, hell I am pissing in my pants thinking about all the competitive exams. Especially now that my school life is going to end since I don't know what's good for me, or what I am capable of. So I've filled every form available to me, NLAT, Xavier's (You didn't know? Media is the 'in' thing). I've done this basically as you never know when you luckily get into a decent institution and twenty years ahead, you are giving snarling sermons to someone as lost as you. Needless to say how you would mention, "I found my calling and how my love for John Grisham's novel never made me realize, that a lawyer is what I wanted to be. But looking back that was the only Natural Progression," or how, "My passion for Cinema and love for DDLJ(Yes I like soft romantic films which make no sense, as I am very cheap) made you a 'Cine Artiste.' Worse would be citing Barkha Dutt as your role model for being a journalist.

I don't know where will I land or what I'll do. Neither am I one of those anthem giving guitarists or the bass playing folks having an innate affection for being underrated who makes the world move like a 'Free Bird' or 'Like a Rolling Stone.' Neither am I one of those highly sophisticated individuals who have been devouring Homer, Faust, Dante nor the literature laureate who quotes Byron, Keats, Blake or be as Poetic as Poe. Hell for me literature and fiction are synonyms. I do follow a Football Club, CFC and would be absolutely shameless to confess that I started following them, only after they started winning. Neither can I boast about a club whose history is longer than the stretch of my family's pedigree. Whose name my father hadn't heard or rather read in this case till he subscribed to Times of India in the early nineties. The truth is money buy Title's, Rooney's, Villa's, World Cup spot's and the UCL's in footballing world. I have absolutely no concept of conscience or morals; in fact on many occasions I have sipped Scotch from my Dad's stock (if you haven't. I hope you continue to remain the Saint you are, you never ever sip alcohol and that you Die in Desolation) Scotch from my Dad's stock and enjoyed it thoroughly. I've spread rumours about girls and done so just to make them suffer and smirked on them being passed around with a validity that would put forensics sciences to shame. Oh yes I am a sexist, it's better than being the super cute guy who calls his girl 'Saali Randi'# in that moment of anger or extreme intoxication(read Talli) and proclaiming love for the same ..... in the morning. I hate cricket especially the gung-ho IPL and prefer Test Cricket for its Insipid nature. I am an ardent fan of 'NAUGHTY AMERICA' and if there is any God for me that would be the Director, Producer, Script Writer of Naughty America, them and the seeders spread across the globe(which I've noticed are majorly Asians, I am not zeroing in on Country as it slightly hurts my National Pride but majorly depresses me reflecting the sad state of the nation which gave the world 'The Handbook to Have Good Sex,' see in my dishonesty lies the truth.) the seeders who share and know my pain.  As you now know that I don't believe in God, hence you wouldn't find a girl in my vicinity or that is what I have assumed happily. All I know is that I am really average and hence will try for B. Com. B. Sc of some state university. As I don't want to be politely said 'NO', by some Software Sweatshop, which would rather feel like a kick on the bum. Then prepare for CAT waiting for second kick in scrotum by the same folks who took away IIT, NIT will now take IIM away from me. I am looking forward to the next chapter in my life, college life away from my home town and indulge in all of Devil's Work. I really want a break from my parents Watchdog affection and care. I hate more, speak less and intermingle even less. I am of the thinking very similar to that of Hugh Jackman in 'A Few Good Men.' Believing totally in the fact that some of us don't really have any right to live since we lack the guts to sacrifice things for the cost of freedom and then judgemental about the means. If I had chance I would have killed that sob that the world calls the protagonist of that movie, what's his name anyway?
For years I had hoped of becoming an Engineer, growing up only to realize that Innocence is a classy word for Mentally Ill Equipped. My aim in life now is one which you already know. That is to pass this God Forsaken Boards and get into a college which is at least five hundred kms. away from my home town. One which boasts of Mall Culture where I can watch movies, get drunk in fancy bars and throw out equating the intake and out throw of my body. Shit there goes my half hour with absolutely no relation to my integration problem. Now that I don't want to be late for my home and definitely don't want the anti liquor tobacco speech of my parents I must rush. I must also quit this habit of scribbling shit which doesn't make any sense.


*@KueKaMendhak is my twitter handle and the only Identity which one needs in today's world, so quoting Shakespeare. "What's in the name?" (The only one, I know apparently.)

**KueKaMendhak roughly translates into hermit; for my fellow Indians who have forgotten Hindi.

#'Saali Randi' is 'That Whore' in English, for English remembering folks.

Love goes on anyway...

It is that part of the year, where life wins again and brings with it a hue of smile and cheer. It's raining my love... the monsoons have made their presence felt. I am sitting on our bench in our park and as I am looking towards you. Gentle raindrops keep falling on my face and weirdly it feels like your cold nose touching me while kissing. As I close my eyes and smell rain, I can listen you telling me, "how the smell of rain is God's way of showering the nectar of divinity. So us mortals can feel invincible." I so loathe your usage of superfluous words....
As you may have already noticed Jethro isn't with me... This has been our personal moment and I intend to keep it that way. How's Jethro?? He is every bit of MAD dog as you remember. He is good and has matured a lot in the past few months no I'm not kidding. He still has his moment of madness though, few days back only when I woke up I found our bed was completely covered by pillow feather, and what was left of that pillow was being chewed by Jethro.
I was so furious at him that I rolled a paper and rushed to him watching which he ran to dinning table and ducked under it..... I thought I heard you saying "Don't hit him." I saw his eyes ..... you remember how innocent can they be... watching 'em, I threw the paper. He gently rested his head on my feet... you know I couldn't help myself. I picked him up and we cried. Poor Kid is alone all the time and I cannot do anything, I can't even take him to my office. You know he misses you a lot, almost daily I catch him sitting beneath your photo looking at you. Don't worry about him honey, I take good care of him and he really has matured and you can take my words for that. Maybe his annoying you and his growing up is just his way to show you that he misses you.
Ma called today she feels I should leave this city as it only reminds me of you ... I told her I need time. She is now assured that I'm eating and sleeping healthily after her last visit. On the other hand your Mom is getting impossible she calls daily and keeps an eye on me like watch dog... she feels I will Kill Myself!!!!


Don't they see I am doing all that I can do! Tell me honestly am I not trying? Can't they see I just miss you too much and I want to mourn, you not being here? I lost my wife damn it. Neither was I there to hold you nor I did  I say a thing to you, you were just taken away from me. Not that it would have made a difference, but I couldn't even look at you once......
Looking back I want to do so many things, I should've taken you on a vacation, should've taken you out on a movie every weekend rather than watching football and explaining it to you. I should've kids with you which you wanted but never asked me. Now I feel we could have squeezed our expenses and could easily manage to have kids. But nothing can be done now..... Our home looks so empty everything is just the same except the one who made it home isn't there any more...
Worst are these recurring thoughts what if I had went shopping with you like everyday or why I didn't go with you. Why was I so busy, why you couldn't wait for me? Why was that car coming so fast... all my questions have only one answer. That answer which fails to console me.. Maybe it was your time.... it's so easy to say that but so difficult to live with it....
I am going kids are coming to play and all they remind me is of you and our kids. One which we never had, one with whom you could play with, one you could love. I guess it will be sometime before I can be normal in front of a kid. The other day that cute kid with whom you played a lot asked me why aren't you coming any more... I told him you are away. Maybe it still hasn't sunk in that you are gone or maybe I cannot tell the world that I'm left alone now........................ Jethro is alone I must go home........................... Tell me something will I ever be normal again, will I ever be able to laugh? Will I ever be able to....... You know what's the worst part unlike the times you used to go away before , I know this time you won't come back.

Women's Day. [Hindi]

गाँव के बहार उस अकेले मोड़ के अकेले घर में वो रहती थी,
 रात भर जो वो खुद को हवस को परोसती थी|
सुबह होने पे अपने बच्चों का पेट भरती थी!

Women's Day.

In the cottage outside the village she lived,
At night she sold herself to others pity.
In day's bright sunlight,
She pampered and loved her baby.

Bhasin and her cheekiness :P

A status I wrote for one super cute friend of mine

"By Joe why am I so cute?? People dont let me do anything!!.... Excuse me can you get me that shoping cart??"

Confucius Says....

"Stop Quoting me Bastards, Start Thinking!!"

Where the mind is without fear???

Where the Mind is stuck in Religion and the Heart filled with Hate.
Where Ego is Walloping.
Where the world is not thought of and all that is left is carcass and blood.
By the materialistic sentiments of religion.
Where hate comes from the womb of uselessness.
Where Incapacitate clerics pave way for extermination.
Where the clear stream of conscience has long lost its way.
Into the dreary desert sand of religious supremacy
Where the mind has succumbed to Saffron and Green.
Into ever worsening Battle for a Piece of a Land.
Into that Inferno, My Father. Let my Country Die in Disdain.


This is what I feel Rabindranath Tagore's mind would have spewed out today

What a girl wants??.. You better beware!!

Not in a mood to create a serene atmosphere, I today am taking a face ward plunge into how miserable we Men are!!

"Every women deserves a man who looks at her every day like it's the first time he saw her." This was the happening thing to like today in Facebook's world. Being the innate jackass that I am, I was vivid and all barrels of laughter at the new found height of stupidity of women folk(ok some are not stupid but then again the ratio of sensible non pink loving women to the pink loving ones makes the sensible ones non-existent). I was just amazed as to; are women really that ignorant and stupid or are men such good con artists?? Failing to find any answers(the answer to the second one is a BIG NO though) I took a huge responsibility upon my shoulders just to give a sneak view of what men really are!! See I'm not a Male Chauvinist after all if anything I am, I am a Feminist!! Even before writing I can hear the words Et Tu Brute?? Sorry folks but you all know yourself you could never deceive your mother in lifetime how do you think that you will be able to deceive girls that easily!!

This one's for Mills and Boons loving girls!!!

Sorry to shatter your illusion girls but if a man looked at a woman the same way he looked at her the first time... it would be best described in your language as CREEPY!!! and I am pretty sure you would stoop down many fathoms and will call him "SAALA THARKI SUAR!!!"

PS Men are total perverts and their aim never changes unlike women ;-) Also I am just an average man.

PPS "SALA THARKI SUAR" means "BASTARDLY HORMONAL PIG" for the non Hindi speaking folks!!

Value of Money....

I wonder does value of money change from person to person??? Or is it that just because a person is from a background which has seen a hard earned prosperity, he values the money more or knows the value more.. I mean if a rich person values money more and is particular about it he is called miser... or why someone who spends a lot randomly on luxuries of life is expected to take things lightly 'in a good humour way' when the subject of humour is money? Especially when you yourself  won't mind things so funny when you put yourself in his place!!!

Why do we always tend to forget that be it your money or be it mine it is earned with the same trouble back home. Why make it as your or mine why not just leave it at money!!!

Another thing that just infuriates me is when it comes to necessities of life each and every one of those necessities have some basic purpose which money cannot match. Though the irony is, it can buy it!! It is not that I am not disillusioned by capitalism or I am some firm believer of socialism and reject branded products. As a matter of fact I quite often do buy them, but to me branded clothes or unbranded clothes they all hold same meaning!! I don't want to roam around naked. Also I treat them with equal respect or lack of respect it totally depends on your perception. it just amazes me as to how people judge utility with the price of that object.. I mean you bought a certain object because it solves your problem or fulfils thing that can be termed as a necessity.

A Bread is Bread even if its is from Alain Ducasse or from your nearest bakery as it serves the basic purpose of satisfying your hunger!!

Similarly a person how rich he may be loves his rupee as much as the poor beggar and probably has worked much more harder to earn that money!! Going back again all I feel is, Why make it as your or mine why not just leave it at money!!!

Creativity amongst Collective Souls

To begin with I am a stubborn ass Randian and too damn proud to be one!! For I know some of her principles are hugely out of this world and very much senile but some of it are very true and as true as the word TRUE ever can be!!

Now the reason that I am writing this bit is for a sad fact that there happened to be a wail realisation in my college that there has to be few collective groups to bring out the creativity in college students. Now I did welcome it though I must confess I feel a bit apprehensive and cheated when people come out to try to bring out something creative among a group of people. What I feel is creativity lies in seclusion and then total criticism some positive, some negative whatever it is but surely no blind praising to the limit of putting your lips to some one else's rear. It has nothing to do with few fellows coming together and giving each other shoulder to cry like sissy add to that a media student whining about not being able to share his thoughts is so lame I mean LAMEST LAME. You have been given a perfect stage to express and then you cry about lacking a stage to express =/ God Save the Queen!!! What they should rather be writing is how to get through their the thoughts exactly the way they want it to be.... Anyway needless to say that I didn't like it even a bit and the Collective Souls of Creativity must do some really good creative effort in proof reading being a media student that is the least expected of you to submit a nicely edited n poor read document failing which is a sound of dooms bell to me.....

It happens only in India.....

For those who don't know DAVV there are three fruit juices thelas just outside DAVV campus to the right side of the gate while coming out from the campus.. today to feed our hungry tummy and have a momentary escape from the scorching heat VD and I were having juice.
Being a jovial chap VD is plus a regular among those three fruit juice shops VD knows that they all are from the districts around Lucknow in UP. So here VD was telling me how they were from in and around his native land and I am also interested in UP folks as back home in Bhilai almost every chat wala is from UP.
While having this conversation my curiosity piqued and I asked VD "Do you know where they live???" A real ogreish voice said Navlakha some thing Makan no. 5 both of us turned back and saw a man. he told us that he has the remote control of all these juice vendors right form Regal to Asaram Square also he told us that he was a Mahrastrian. A Mahrastrian abusing folks from UP and Bihar is nothing new to our nation.
Also the way he told us things it became evident to me and VD that above mentioned person was using all these people as cheap labour and we were discussing the hapless state the poor juice vendors must be in under this hoodlum. While serving our juice that person told us that he had to take control of the situation as the poor juice vendors were daily extorted and beaten by local gundas for money at time their juicers were snatched off them. Then he told us how one of those three juice vendors came in contact with him and seek asylum under him. Not only that he was honest enough to accept that he helps them for his profits and broke a hoodlums head when he tried to rough a juice vendor up.

While we were imagining Thackreys in the Marathi Manoos , this Marathi Manoos was really a Manoos to the core I give a shit as he beats other folks up and is giving rise to anarchy I mean hello everyone is an extortionist here the Mafia nexus being the official, cops the govermental representative, press human right every one does the same but what made me Glad was a Mahrashtrian saving a Bhaiyaji and taking him under his wings and giving him shelter.What i saw was brotherhood among Indians and with things like this my heart tilts a bit towards the old USP of INDIA "UNITY IN DIVERSITY," and gives me a faint hope that all is not that bad as I thought and for the moment I am very happy to cling on to it

Hypocrisy..... it's An Asian thing

While I am having a really nice conversation with an acquaintance of mine, I promised myself to write this eccentric but a justified thought that my mind stumbled upon.

So here I was driving today to Bengali Square and out of no where I start singing "Duur" an old number by a very famous Asian Band Strings .... to introduce you all ignoring kinds. Strings is a rock band from across the borders.. yea you guessed it right It's from PAKISTAN!!!

Oye stop raising those eyebrows!!! We Indians love arts and really don't let our bias for Pakistan come in between the music and the arts. Strings well what to say about them a really nice band they touch everything from love to love lost to the glorification of women folk and most importantly some of their songs even talk about the sadness in fighting each other and that we all have the same almighty up above. However their music is very unique it has this very fresh appeal to it at times its very minimal and the String guys abstain from being boastful in their music and though their Vocalist Bilaal has a strong resemblance to Bono and the music at times seems rip off of U2 OK more than at times..... Sorry I forgot to add IMHO(In my humble opinion) prior to my last statement . Anyway I was talking about the hypocrisy being an Asian thing to start it of I would also like to mention this is what I have noticed and may not be true but still I am willing to generalize it.. the folks across the borders they have this huge attitude towards music and feel that it is their birth right to discard antything that is Indian and just highlight Indians love for the Music and Art across the border and dismiss anything Indian what they fail to accept is they make the shittiest movies ever and thrive on the shittiest Indian movies. This is called hypocrisy in my language but I just wanted to throw a light on it.

Coming back to the Indian side of earth. Don't you think we have too much obsession of liking artists from across the borders more because they are from across the borders and less because they are good at least I feel so. Agreed Ghulam Ali is still magnificent but so is Pankaj Udhas and the magnificent Jagjeet Singh. I feel many of our biased love for Pakistani artists have made our own artist who were equally good sleep empty stomach. Bringing this theory of hypocrisy in today's context how us Indians love Aatif Aslam, Jal and Strings. I have already told how Strings is a U2 Rip off, Jal is an averagely talented band with nice makeup kit n better saloon I guess. Aatif Aslam is a diffferent case he has this really great voice I mean how talented he is can only be heard singing some high notes in the voice of a donkey!! Indians idolize him. More of it can be seen in the Indian media and the reality shows, all of a sudden we are not able to find a single singing talent in our country we look across the border make them larger than life. The airplay that Strings Aatif and Jal receives is second to none actually. When an Indian band goes to those channel head they say this form of music doesn't sell like String ain't rock and its not in Hindi like Raghu Dixit, Swarathma and Indian Ocean are in Latin!! Surely this is Hypocrisy!!

What is depressing is that a number of quality Indian bands have never been featured in Indian Television. I as a music enthusiast feels let down and disheartened that bands Like TAAQ, ZERO, JYG and Soulmate haven't been featured in Indian Television and by the look of it wont be featured any real time soon. Though there is Launchpad but the sad realities behind launchpad you can ask to Reverse Polarity!!

I don't know how to end this train of thoughts except saying that Hypocrisy is an Asian Thing!!