Bhasin and her cheekiness :P

A status I wrote for one super cute friend of mine

"By Joe why am I so cute?? People dont let me do anything!!.... Excuse me can you get me that shoping cart??"

Confucius Says....

"Stop Quoting me Bastards, Start Thinking!!"

Bhasin and her miseries

Tum jo ek baar muskura do to,
ye jahan aur bhi haseen ho jaye.
Tum jo thoda sa sharma do to,
ye shaam aur bhi rangeen ho jaye.
Khoobsurati ki kadr nahi hai unko jo ye kehte hai,
ki hoto ki laali hai itni jarrori jaise bandook mein goli.
Tum bas ek baar aankhon se itra do,
to imaan se har ik kaafir momin jaye.


This CORNY piece has been written just so that a dear friend who is without a gloss smiles :D :D :P

PS she has an affinity for lame things!!

Ode to the one I have known..

The chill in the air, tells me,
The snail, I will always be
What is, and could be will never stop to haunt me.
Like a sailors taedium  'cause of ocean
A grown ups nostalgia for innocence.
My life will always be a void without you
Though my mind wants you to grow.
To set on happiness all alone
My heart it weeps at the thought of forlorn...

Jazz

Here it is the most beautiful of my analogies I could ever come up with to define Jazz.

Jazz is like an orgasm you don't even understand what it is, when you first experience it. But when you do understand it, you enjoy it better.

I

Catapultam tristis sum.

Honesty.

Shokhi Ma'm's status update: आए मेरे, देखा मुझे, बात भी की मुस्कुराए भी, पुराणी किसी पहचान की खातिर.......

कल का अख़बार था, बस देख लिया, रख भी दिया........

Me: nice one ma'm

Shokhi Ma'am : not mine ... Gulzar..... Ofcourse.

Me: The best thing and the worst things about words are that they don't carry the name of the person who wrote them yet at the same time they say the sentiments of the person who spoke it and echo the feelings of person who wrote it.

I guess they master the art of being an Honest Slut!! 

The pain of the lost poet.

If my thought could ever be translated into art they would be mural in a dark room only to be caressed by lizards....

Where the mind is without fear???

Where the Mind is stuck in Religion and the Heart filled with Hate.
Where Ego is Walloping.
Where the world is not thought of and all that is left is carcass and blood.
By the materialistic sentiments of religion.
Where hate comes from the womb of uselessness.
Where Incapacitate clerics pave way for extermination.
Where the clear stream of conscience has long lost its way.
Into the dreary desert sand of religious supremacy
Where the mind has succumbed to Saffron and Green.
Into ever worsening Battle for a Piece of a Land.
Into that Inferno, My Father. Let my Country Die in Disdain.


This is what I feel Rabindranath Tagore's mind would have spewed out today

Angela

In the midst of this wilderness, there is a thought to which I am prone.

For what I've done??

Living my life in this world, in which we all want to be mannequin clone.

How we do forget... in the sense of original we are none.

In the midst of this beauty, I want everything to be undone!!

For my life seems to be in Gloom.

When I see the Sun and the Bud in its Bloom.

Woman!!!

God had you just figured out a woman's mind before making her it would have been of such a help!!!!
The only thing that they are good is in confusing a man with their own confusions and making man feel like he doesn't even deserve a single breathe!!!
Why don't they get it that it is their own confusions and the want to have everything in life which is the sole reason for their UNhappiness!!

What a girl wants??.. You better beware!!

Not in a mood to create a serene atmosphere, I today am taking a face ward plunge into how miserable we Men are!!

"Every women deserves a man who looks at her every day like it's the first time he saw her." This was the happening thing to like today in Facebook's world. Being the innate jackass that I am, I was vivid and all barrels of laughter at the new found height of stupidity of women folk(ok some are not stupid but then again the ratio of sensible non pink loving women to the pink loving ones makes the sensible ones non-existent). I was just amazed as to; are women really that ignorant and stupid or are men such good con artists?? Failing to find any answers(the answer to the second one is a BIG NO though) I took a huge responsibility upon my shoulders just to give a sneak view of what men really are!! See I'm not a Male Chauvinist after all if anything I am, I am a Feminist!! Even before writing I can hear the words Et Tu Brute?? Sorry folks but you all know yourself you could never deceive your mother in lifetime how do you think that you will be able to deceive girls that easily!!

This one's for Mills and Boons loving girls!!!

Sorry to shatter your illusion girls but if a man looked at a woman the same way he looked at her the first time... it would be best described in your language as CREEPY!!! and I am pretty sure you would stoop down many fathoms and will call him "SAALA THARKI SUAR!!!"

PS Men are total perverts and their aim never changes unlike women ;-) Also I am just an average man.

PPS "SALA THARKI SUAR" means "BASTARDLY HORMONAL PIG" for the non Hindi speaking folks!!

Value of Money....

I wonder does value of money change from person to person??? Or is it that just because a person is from a background which has seen a hard earned prosperity, he values the money more or knows the value more.. I mean if a rich person values money more and is particular about it he is called miser... or why someone who spends a lot randomly on luxuries of life is expected to take things lightly 'in a good humour way' when the subject of humour is money? Especially when you yourself  won't mind things so funny when you put yourself in his place!!!

Why do we always tend to forget that be it your money or be it mine it is earned with the same trouble back home. Why make it as your or mine why not just leave it at money!!!

Another thing that just infuriates me is when it comes to necessities of life each and every one of those necessities have some basic purpose which money cannot match. Though the irony is, it can buy it!! It is not that I am not disillusioned by capitalism or I am some firm believer of socialism and reject branded products. As a matter of fact I quite often do buy them, but to me branded clothes or unbranded clothes they all hold same meaning!! I don't want to roam around naked. Also I treat them with equal respect or lack of respect it totally depends on your perception. it just amazes me as to how people judge utility with the price of that object.. I mean you bought a certain object because it solves your problem or fulfils thing that can be termed as a necessity.

A Bread is Bread even if its is from Alain Ducasse or from your nearest bakery as it serves the basic purpose of satisfying your hunger!!

Similarly a person how rich he may be loves his rupee as much as the poor beggar and probably has worked much more harder to earn that money!! Going back again all I feel is, Why make it as your or mine why not just leave it at money!!!

Butterfly

You may fail to notice me.........  but when you do notice me, I never fail to bring smile on your face.


Promise Me that you will save mother earth and Me... because I don't want to end up being have been. 


Butterflies are just the barometer of today's environment lets do something before we have to explain our kids the beauty of butterflies and how they are unlucky not to have seen it.
Photograph Courtesy Tejas Jain

एक राह..

एक राह पकड़ी है अपनी चाह की....दुनियाँ से लड़ कर झगड कर अपनी चाह की|
रोज गिरता हूँ, संभलता हूँ, संभल के फिर गिरता हूँ .... पर रोज ख़ुशी से सोता हूँ|
एक राह पकड़ी है अपनी चाह की....

Hurt!!

Today when I woke up, out of no where I had this huge yearn to listen to HURT! by Johnny Cash. Remembering how few months back I had just you tubed this song and failed to download it (Hurt being my companion for many low months in my life). I first buffered it on you tube and then buffered the Nine Inch Nail's original song which had been recommended by a dear friend to me few months back. Needless to say I downloaded both of them and being very similar to each other I saw very distinctive allures to the two songs and not the obvious parallels.

I'll start with the Immortal Johnny Cash's cover. This was the version which I heard first and till yesterday I thought it was original(my friend failing to mention NiN's version is the original). Coming back to Cash's rendition, the way it starts is just decisive!! How the opening notes and the way they are played shreds your soul into many discomfiting fragments of wastage. One soul who at the fag end of his life realises that all his accomplishments mounted to nothing, as his life is incomplete without his loved ones who are all now forever gone. With no shoulder to cry on, no one to console and absolutely no one to make him laugh all that is left now is memory. Memory which with each passing day is turning into a misery. The crest of this song to me would be the way its flowing evenly  and with very simple chords and notes how Johnny Cash has described the most sublime complexity of life!!!

Coming to Nine Inch Nail's Version. this song is morose and it highlights the insipid meandering of life especially when you earn your bread doing something you love... how at times you feel life is too shallow and feel there  is not the same love and feeling that drew you towards your passion in the first place.It resonates the droopy nature and loneliness of stardom. How after being successful you become suspicious and world becomes precarious. How folks around you are judged by you as you've lost the thing called trust... and even in a gathering you feel you are all alone. How standing in the bright spotlight you realise you are not what you were in the beginning .. how your motives have completely changed. How as a kid all you ever wanted to do was a write a lovely song and how you were busy searching for that song. You wonder how it has drifted from love and changed into the sad aspect of commerce. How you just aim and hope that this album be better than the one before.. How you have been deprived the wings of creativity and are dictated by record labels to produce stuff which makes big buck!!

Though both describe the shallow aspects of life and how hollow it is and the way it looses its meaning if you fail to find your near and dear ones right beside you.Johnny Cash's version is a parting gift to the world.... a eulogy to himself. While Trent Reznor's version is a mocking question to himself as to where is the love and how he has to check his priority list every time he wakes up and live by it.There is no doubt that Cash's version is better with even Trent accepting it but we cannot discount the genius of Trent , for the success of Cash's version lies primarily on the fact that Cash utilized and adhered to all the compositional attributes, lyrics of  Trent.

 Cash on the other hand has to be credited for the definitive tone of finality in his song. While Trent aimed for that unknown unexplainable numb pain, Cash chose the silencing sorrow of life. Cash being and icon of bygone era and a genre altogether different worked his Midas touch on an already golden song which was abstract song and brought to it  the marrow of life and turned it into diamond. Trent just spoke of his pain which no one can see in his stardom and how even after living the dream he is all alone. Both of these versions are equally appealing to me and I am just lucky to have lived in the time to see these two Maestros!!!

Sadness I see all around me....

Is God my Saviour, or my enemy?

If thee is not what I label him to be.

Why does he give me hell and test me.

I am not sad with my life,but when I see misery all around me.

It shatters me and makes my heart cry.

For why is that God tests all his baby??

To test us sounds to me that he likes two spoons of salt in his tea.

When he created us, why does he torment you or me??

Is it that he doesn't trust himself, or is afraid that we'll forget his Absolute Authority!!

What ever it is I am far from sold on his being holy!!

Surely I don't respect divine almighty.

And if in sadism he seeks pleasure..... we must as well burn all our deities!! 

We Must as well burn all our deities!!

Heartbreak Warfare.....

It's not that I ever thought John Mayer was gay or stuff... I have always loved his music and in my adolescence days I quite liked it.  Sadly growing up in Bhilai, I was unfortunate to get hands on his cassettes. Also when I finally dived into the ocean of music,  I was too much entranced by Metal and its adrenaline rush.
                  This time around in Bhilai while watching I came across this wonderful song called Heartbreak Warfare. As I listened to first ten seconds of the son I realized that there was a Paradigm Shift, his attitude towards the music seemed way more mellow though it retained its sweetness and innocence for which I always liked John Mayer. The song starts with with an Edge like sweet riff being played infinitely and a Blues oriented sound. Add to it the everlasting n resonating voice of John Mayer and you have an incredible package of something very close to spiritual.....


I know in many quarters John Mayer is criticized because of his poppish approach to music especially after possessing huge pool of talent he posses. Honestly few year back even I would have said that I hate him for being lazy. But you know what ??? It's his choice and it's his life what he makes out of it is his statement to the world if he is content playing few chords notes and notes maybe its his message to the people around. It's his karma and whatever he does its pretty good!!!

You mean a lot to me and forever will .....

This is to Tejas and Digvijay, two of my friends who in Indore, came into my life out of blue moon, for no reason at all and have blessed me when I wrote this poem Me, Tejas and Diggi were all going through some shitty problems and crisis in life and you know what?? I didn't come to know about that till I come back to world as I was in my aestivation aka seclusion at that point of time but I guess its some supreme powers will that I had some premonition that all of us are struggling and missing each other so I wrote this poem.

This poem is mainly inspired by Tejas and partially inspired by Diggi. Sorry Diggi what I have in mind for you I have not written maybe some day I will make my Lazy butt sit and write it out for its been there too long.

To people I have always been afraid that some jackass will steal my work and pass it off as his hers so please don't do that as this is sacred shit word are but this one is special as this is for people I love so this is like "Holier than Thou!!" stuff.

Here it goes:

Dearest brother for past few days,

We haven't been Talking.

The reasons to me are unknown,

But its not me who should be complaining.

As you very well know,

Life is too unforgiving.

And I am just a soul,

Still caught up in juggling.

In this business of life,

I have been too lost studying.

Or shall I say,

Doing a last Ditch effort to Improve my Standing.

Somehow I am,

Not only tired of this meandering.

Or too angry,

At the the People I see in surrounding.

Baffled as to how,

I see so many clowns with so strong Ignoring.

Or how did they encroach me,

When I have been continuously sieving.

The feeling of being Lost,

Is not new for us two beings.

But its is the realisation of things failing,

For which I have been standing.

To come so far, fight so hard,

Realising that my heaven is nothing.

The dimwits who knew and still know nothing,

Tell me what is my liking.

They don't stop there,

They dare to do manic preaching.

I am still immune to their blabbering,

And their lectures best termed as snarling.

And I am pretty sure,

This strength of mine will never be corroding

But its my passion, my music,

Which I feel has been betraying.

Betraying may be a strong word,

As it still leaves me exhilarating.

But I must confess,

The questions and the lack of answers is bewildering.

For a man who has only believed,

In A being and A and nothing.

This moment of wilderness,

Has left me confusing.

The bliss of life for me was,

Standing on wet grass and its feeling.

The flight of birds,

And their majestic chirping.

Though my passion and love,

Music is still comforting.

But at times I do feel,

That now its repetitive which is maddening.

May be I am expecting too much....

But I have forever been demanding.

Absence of people termed as sane and sensible,

Has made my condition fusion reacting....exponentially aggravating.

And with you afar,

In your soul searching

I feel I going down in ocean,

I feel I is Drowning.

I struggle, I struggle more,

But more I struggle more I feel Suffocating.

Is it my life that I am living?

Or in wet sand I am sinking?

I have this strange feeling,

I am being carried away and my vision is darkening.

I yearn for those moments revolving around Maggi and Coffee,

When always at the end of this whining you made me realise things are not as bad as they seem to be.

----Pratik 01.08.2010

Creativity amongst Collective Souls

To begin with I am a stubborn ass Randian and too damn proud to be one!! For I know some of her principles are hugely out of this world and very much senile but some of it are very true and as true as the word TRUE ever can be!!

Now the reason that I am writing this bit is for a sad fact that there happened to be a wail realisation in my college that there has to be few collective groups to bring out the creativity in college students. Now I did welcome it though I must confess I feel a bit apprehensive and cheated when people come out to try to bring out something creative among a group of people. What I feel is creativity lies in seclusion and then total criticism some positive, some negative whatever it is but surely no blind praising to the limit of putting your lips to some one else's rear. It has nothing to do with few fellows coming together and giving each other shoulder to cry like sissy add to that a media student whining about not being able to share his thoughts is so lame I mean LAMEST LAME. You have been given a perfect stage to express and then you cry about lacking a stage to express =/ God Save the Queen!!! What they should rather be writing is how to get through their the thoughts exactly the way they want it to be.... Anyway needless to say that I didn't like it even a bit and the Collective Souls of Creativity must do some really good creative effort in proof reading being a media student that is the least expected of you to submit a nicely edited n poor read document failing which is a sound of dooms bell to me.....

It happens only in India.....

For those who don't know DAVV there are three fruit juices thelas just outside DAVV campus to the right side of the gate while coming out from the campus.. today to feed our hungry tummy and have a momentary escape from the scorching heat VD and I were having juice.
Being a jovial chap VD is plus a regular among those three fruit juice shops VD knows that they all are from the districts around Lucknow in UP. So here VD was telling me how they were from in and around his native land and I am also interested in UP folks as back home in Bhilai almost every chat wala is from UP.
While having this conversation my curiosity piqued and I asked VD "Do you know where they live???" A real ogreish voice said Navlakha some thing Makan no. 5 both of us turned back and saw a man. he told us that he has the remote control of all these juice vendors right form Regal to Asaram Square also he told us that he was a Mahrastrian. A Mahrastrian abusing folks from UP and Bihar is nothing new to our nation.
Also the way he told us things it became evident to me and VD that above mentioned person was using all these people as cheap labour and we were discussing the hapless state the poor juice vendors must be in under this hoodlum. While serving our juice that person told us that he had to take control of the situation as the poor juice vendors were daily extorted and beaten by local gundas for money at time their juicers were snatched off them. Then he told us how one of those three juice vendors came in contact with him and seek asylum under him. Not only that he was honest enough to accept that he helps them for his profits and broke a hoodlums head when he tried to rough a juice vendor up.

While we were imagining Thackreys in the Marathi Manoos , this Marathi Manoos was really a Manoos to the core I give a shit as he beats other folks up and is giving rise to anarchy I mean hello everyone is an extortionist here the Mafia nexus being the official, cops the govermental representative, press human right every one does the same but what made me Glad was a Mahrashtrian saving a Bhaiyaji and taking him under his wings and giving him shelter.What i saw was brotherhood among Indians and with things like this my heart tilts a bit towards the old USP of INDIA "UNITY IN DIVERSITY," and gives me a faint hope that all is not that bad as I thought and for the moment I am very happy to cling on to it

Hypocrisy..... it's An Asian thing

While I am having a really nice conversation with an acquaintance of mine, I promised myself to write this eccentric but a justified thought that my mind stumbled upon.

So here I was driving today to Bengali Square and out of no where I start singing "Duur" an old number by a very famous Asian Band Strings .... to introduce you all ignoring kinds. Strings is a rock band from across the borders.. yea you guessed it right It's from PAKISTAN!!!

Oye stop raising those eyebrows!!! We Indians love arts and really don't let our bias for Pakistan come in between the music and the arts. Strings well what to say about them a really nice band they touch everything from love to love lost to the glorification of women folk and most importantly some of their songs even talk about the sadness in fighting each other and that we all have the same almighty up above. However their music is very unique it has this very fresh appeal to it at times its very minimal and the String guys abstain from being boastful in their music and though their Vocalist Bilaal has a strong resemblance to Bono and the music at times seems rip off of U2 OK more than at times..... Sorry I forgot to add IMHO(In my humble opinion) prior to my last statement . Anyway I was talking about the hypocrisy being an Asian thing to start it of I would also like to mention this is what I have noticed and may not be true but still I am willing to generalize it.. the folks across the borders they have this huge attitude towards music and feel that it is their birth right to discard antything that is Indian and just highlight Indians love for the Music and Art across the border and dismiss anything Indian what they fail to accept is they make the shittiest movies ever and thrive on the shittiest Indian movies. This is called hypocrisy in my language but I just wanted to throw a light on it.

Coming back to the Indian side of earth. Don't you think we have too much obsession of liking artists from across the borders more because they are from across the borders and less because they are good at least I feel so. Agreed Ghulam Ali is still magnificent but so is Pankaj Udhas and the magnificent Jagjeet Singh. I feel many of our biased love for Pakistani artists have made our own artist who were equally good sleep empty stomach. Bringing this theory of hypocrisy in today's context how us Indians love Aatif Aslam, Jal and Strings. I have already told how Strings is a U2 Rip off, Jal is an averagely talented band with nice makeup kit n better saloon I guess. Aatif Aslam is a diffferent case he has this really great voice I mean how talented he is can only be heard singing some high notes in the voice of a donkey!! Indians idolize him. More of it can be seen in the Indian media and the reality shows, all of a sudden we are not able to find a single singing talent in our country we look across the border make them larger than life. The airplay that Strings Aatif and Jal receives is second to none actually. When an Indian band goes to those channel head they say this form of music doesn't sell like String ain't rock and its not in Hindi like Raghu Dixit, Swarathma and Indian Ocean are in Latin!! Surely this is Hypocrisy!!

What is depressing is that a number of quality Indian bands have never been featured in Indian Television. I as a music enthusiast feels let down and disheartened that bands Like TAAQ, ZERO, JYG and Soulmate haven't been featured in Indian Television and by the look of it wont be featured any real time soon. Though there is Launchpad but the sad realities behind launchpad you can ask to Reverse Polarity!!

I don't know how to end this train of thoughts except saying that Hypocrisy is an Asian Thing!!

Confessions!!!!!... of a frustrated artist.

Ever since I had this realisation that I don't want to be an engineer and I want to be in a creative field it has been even more of an uphill task than it was to make my parents come to the fact that I didn't want to be engineer I wanted to be in a creative field, I surely knew it was going to be difficult but now I know the extent of unhappiness.

In the beginning however it was so merry, I was so happy and it was as if I wanted to be the next Howard Roark... I didn't mind the struggle nor do I mind the fact that I shut myself, from the world when I am on a creative high tide and I never really mind what people think about me trust me they think real shit still I am the way, the way I want to be!! I say what I feel and most of it I still have my honesty with me as I speak truth, I don't speak sugar coated lies just to develop on some networking. Its part and parcel of the game I guess. And I have really no qualms about how my life is going.. It's pretty good I must say.

What I have seen in this creative world is not WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get), Rather just the opposite. What you can sell is what you get!! Is it really possible to sell yourself by not being that good and creating a hype and hoopla around you... are people totally blind not to see through it so far that I have seen they are but still arts is "Holier than thou" at least for me and I won't advertise my work if it's any good it will find a way to its buyers rather deservers. This draped vision of society hurts a bit but not that much society has forever been shitty.

However you know what hurts the most is when your progress is hampered not by the lack of your efforts or your lack of imagination. It hurts the most when you have both but you don't have the means to express it, in my case a camera and a guitar, To top it off what burns your ass and your bile is when a person with an average talent comes steals the limelight and the whole world says that he was the first and appreciate it so much that he is in turn made a god. It absolutely crushes you when people around you are so talented and yet are laggards because of lack of the expensive cameras and processors. How easy it is for some dim-witted jackass to make an album labelled XYZ Photography, just as his dad can afford to buy him a DSLR or a Jackson King V, as for me I am just dependent on my father and have a strong apprehension to ask any more things from dad. I cannot ask for guitar or a camera and so I am not content but honing my skill with written words.. So far in this struggle of patience that good things will come my way come what may has turned out to be pestilence. YES I am jealous not because he is getting attention but I am getting irritated at my meandering life and I am angry because he is doing it the wrong way!!

Also I have this huge fear that I am now slowly approaching the Creativity Nadir, I don't believe in it but what if it's true ??

And all my plans, compromised

All my dreams, sacrificed

I don't want this end for me, I know it won't be, For I will continue my struggle till I grab what I deserve. But you know...... no matter how much I try to make my heart understand it, there is this clear and present monster of Insecurity lurking beneath me... to sum up my or any struggling artists mental and emotional state I am borrowing lines from The Rolling Stones: "It's note easy facing when your whole world is painted black."

All those time when you just want to explode.....

Growing up I never realised myself to be really bright or intelligent, on the contrary growing up in Bhilai and studying in DPS I had long realised the fact that I have to be smart rather than being intelligent in this mean old world, in order to dilute its Cruel Materialism. I saw so many bright people around me that I started fostering a doubt; "May be I am not so intelligent,"

So I grew up with this rationalization that people maybe a lot more intelligent than me, a thinking which my family has always put to fore in our life and I appreciate it.

Anyway I grew up got confused, screwed up my education ended up hating the dreams that I had borrowed from others for others. Realised that these dreams weren't mine and in time changed my path. However I increasingly grew angry and irritated at myself and at the world, especially when I see stupidity and lame ass jerks around me. it might be due to the fact that the years that I lost took toll on me or maybe I am just a pissed off person, I really don't care. Bit you know what royally pisses me off is when a person comes up with really stupid remark, especially for a person who you cannot emulate in your 100 lives.

Sadly being born in India I have come across many such Wise Men. Maybe I am one of those myself too but as fat as I can remember I never made any wise as comments such as this is called batting when the runs scored are from byes which even an American would know are counted as extras, or Sachin's innings in IPL Finals where he played with five stitches in his webbing now even for a cricketer holding a bat with 5 stitches on hand is not a joke and to score 48 with it tells what a great player he is, or had it not been for him MI wouldn't have been in finals. I mean had anyone else been in Sachin's he would have gladly sit out and nursed his injury but Morons are always there aaarrrggghhhh!!!

Anyway chuck it!! Drifting through life I realised this fact that Intelligent people are as rare as extinct or Intelligence is iota of knowledge. Also I realised I am not compatible with majority of people out of the compatible few, one is Digvijay.... for others it's better that I say less. But still I cannot wonder I mean how anyone can afford to be such a dimwit in today's succulent times. Didn't they go to school??? I reached to one conclusion and that is in today's time only a fool can live happily and has majority.

Sane people like Digvijay have their ignorance, fools have their irritating presence...... and few fiery and passionate people like me have their annoyed existence due to acknowledgement of morons. I am quiet merry in my books, music and films as people don't really appreciate honesty truths and the fact that they are jerk. How so ever intelligent I am, I have yet to master the art to ignore them for in my ignorance lies my happiness or the acceptance of foolishness in world and the celebration of foolishness.

Acknowledgement is my vice and I shall cruciFIX it!!!

Failure in expressing feelings...

Ok to start it off I had a Great 23 rd April ... and I mean really great!!!!

This I am writing just to shatter the delusions one may build on reading this post...

Why I had a great day yesterday well the answer to that is quite simple it was the birthday of my most favourite teacher Soumya Roy or simply put Roy Sir as many of us know him.... What made this day special was the completion of my film appreciation project and though I am pretty sure that I will flunk in my HR exam but that's ok I was never good in the management of Human Resource(hope you get the pun), also I would like to say this officially I care a damn about any subject teacher who gives a damn about the jargon of that subject rather than the principles and theories of that subject when put in a simple language!! But that grudge against the education will come out some other day I guess I hope not because if it does, then Mahabharata will look like a pocket book. xP

Film appreciation project I was very upbeat in my own way about this project because for the first time in my life I was going to do something that I really feel passion for Write well I haven't yet official Sang except in school which never counts ... also I skipped the project submission date and submitted my 6 credits assignment 2 days later but I guess it was well worth it and surely not copy pasted :)

I would really like to mention two of my friends here Ayan Saxena and Pratik Modi its is because of the time spent with them that I now have the confidence to submit a project late and still make it better than others at least IMHO and to me that only matters :) prior to this I would have made shite assignment n submitted on the due date but no more no more deceits at least to yourself.

I screwed up my paper but I was like its ok Who the hell gives a F xD and I was really building up on huge guilt because I did not call Roy sir last night and didn't even texted him this morning in the crash course studying scenario... so I text him I don't even know if it reached him the sun was scorching and the wind were dehydrating so I went back to my Insti. Building, there I noticed a gathering of Few juniors and some decoration and then a figure which no tainted and frosted glass can make me fail to recognise it. Roy Sir. Now the first thing that I wanted to do was go inside and touch his feet and just wish him.. wish I had been so carefree but I am not. =(

Then those juniors all of you I love you for giving a great teacher a nice day :)

but I hope you could also give him also some space so that few folks who prefer the invisibility cloak like me could go and wish him and talk to him and could have just afford to have few more dearly cherished memories of him(I maybe hiding the fact that I wanted to show him my Project and get his valuable inputs)... that said I still wouldn't have amassed enough strength to wish him because of the guilt of not wishing him in person and thooo wishing him using a 60 paisa SmS. Anyway what's the use I'm like that and forever have been like that I cannot express my feelings in person...

This is not the first time it happens time and again I cannot tell my father how much I love .. I especially miss those days when as a kid I used to bring pillow for him after he used to come tired from office so that he could just lie down for a few minutes and sit on his back and talk to him.. with Ma even though we are so close but in my mood swings I shut her completely and especially when I am doing some crappy project, I know how much listening my voice comforts her... aaaargh if I write about my sis I am pretty sure I am gonna thrash the monitor and prior to it the mood of this blog. I would also like to mention Tejas and Udhav here sorry folks due to projects I have completely shut you all. but enough!!!

What Roy sir mean to me is something that no language has words to describe and I know Sir that you don't really like the flavour of things that I write but still I am a bit melancholic I guess, Anyway the junior posted a snap of him with them last night "To Sir with Love" is says but I know that the word betrays the feeling that they want to say.

Sir you along with Deshmukh Sir have given to me a perception towards life the whole world talks a lot about stretching beyond the limits an thinking out of box, but out of those millions only the two of you have ever appreciated it.. and I know You can never be far away from me.. because inside this Pratik Sahu is a Soumya Roy and you have not only given us a way but you have also foretold us the demons of life and I sincerely hope all of your student be true to themselves and to you.Especially me. As to expressing my feelings part I guess the written words is my forte. You are one of those teacher with home I feel myself totally and you classes are till date a joy. Wishing you a comfortable and peaceful life with many student for I know you love toying with young minds. :)

Roy Sir is just not a teacher he is miracle worker he has brought the plights of us students and given them the ray of a new dawn. To dedicate my first blog is just my luck!!

As for you all I did wish him in front of juniors yea they didn't leave him and yea I did made an ass out of me there too but its fun making an ass out of yourself in fronts of Roy Sir!!!

Roy Sir Roy Sir,

To know you is pleasure.

To have a memory of you is treasure,

my happiness cannot be measured.

for I have been taught not by a teacher but by the Kaiser.

PS Juniors no hard feelings for you just I am plain jealous of you!! =)